Alright..

So...this might be a really long post...or it might be really short...i don't know yet. I'm just going to write what pops into this little head of mine. Well first of all...this week. Has been the longest week of my life. When I was sick in September my doctor said I would only have about 5 months left...Well...I've just about hit that 5 month mark. About 4 days ago, I found out I was pretty much sick again.  Am I nervous? Hell yeah. This is really scary...I might not ever meet my son. That poor kid will have to grow up without a father. Do you know how hard that will be for him? I mean...he isn't even here yet and I already love him to death. Ok well back to my story. Tomorrow at 11:00CST I will be undergoing a procedure or intense proportions....no not really. Just draining some liquid that had found its way to my brain. Not enough to down it...just a little bit. I will be more than happy to show off my battle wound later. I will be right back have to get my yogurt :p...bitches like yogurt
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Alright I just opened and finished my yogurt within 50 seconds...I am seriously sick of my phone. I have had problems with every phone i have ever owned. I don't know why. Shit just happens. To EVERY PHONE...my dads gonna be so mad when I tell him. So anyway. My phone...Android Incredible 2. I love it. Except when it does this to me. It goes to boot up normally and just freezes at one screen and won't load anything. Everything was just dandy with my phone...until the battery died at about 7:44 this evening. I've tried plugging it in. I think I'm just going to let it chill for awhile and charge a bit and then i will decide what to do later.
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 Ok back to the main topic of this whole post. Wow my ADHD must be bad today :p. Alright! SO!. TOMORROW. January 28th 2012. Will be just dandy. Normal Kyler morning routine until like 8:00. Then the bitches start doing things to me. Not like...awkward things...just...things. Like normal things. Blood sugar test and blood pressure and that kind of stuff. Then at 11:00 I receive my anesthetic. Thats when I go off to sleepy time land. The time between 8-11 scare me so much. Its almost hard to move...You get all nervous and all of these questions and "What Ifs" go through your head. Its the scariest time of your life. Even though I've been doing this since I was 7ish years old It scares me every time. Every single time. When you wake up in your bed after surgery your still a little numb. But not like the numb where you can't feel anything. The numb where its still numb but hurts like a bitch. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah...after surgery. The first thing I do when I wake up is ask my mom if I'm ok. That may seem like a weird questions your probably saying "uhhh....Kyler? Of course your ok...your moving and breathing...your alive" But just incase anything bad happened I ask my mom that question just incase. She always says yes. but you know just checking. The second thing I do is look over and see Ava. That smile on her face when I wake up is the best. I love this kid so much. She like could be my kid. But in a non weird way...After seeing that cute little smile on her face it always always ALWAYS makes me smile. It's the best feeling ever. The third thing I do is ask if theres any more meds I could be put on. Most of the time I'm put on all I possibly can. Legally of course..The fourth thing I do is ask if I can go back to sleep. Well...my hand is starting to feel very very very very very very...very...tired. And I HATE THIS PHONE!!!!! Oh I just heard from Kirsten that she's having the exact same phone issue...how ironic...
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Alright I left this tab open on accident. When I typed the wry Ironic it was 9:30ish. Now its 11:30 and I got my phone back working :D

Failure

Failure

I meet it often. Sometimes, when I'm going for the fifth round of the maidan or when I push myself down while doing a full leg split. I meet it often in class, where no matter how much I try, I mess up my movements and hence my focus. It's there when I attempt a second pirouette, sometimes even the first. I meet it on the staircase, on the weighing scale, at the 'medium' section in a store, at school when see others flying around, so light and agile. So perfect.

I even meet it at work; my list of deadlines noted meticulously in my notebook speak loudly of it. I feel it's presence in relationships, those that were and could be. It's always there, stalking me, passing me by in the street in the rain or cruel heat.

But stepping back and looking through different glasses, one thing stands out in all my fated rendezvous with it. At least I tried.

Untitled...because I can't think of anything to write here

I don't know why I'm writing this now. I have no idea. I just kind of am. I remember my old foster home really well. I had 3 brothers. Drake was the worst. He was a year older than me. He made my life hell for the month i was there. At first he was really nice and then i don't know things just changed. Finally after undergoing 3 long weeks of pain with Drake as a brother I told my social worker Brandon. He said he would get me in a house as soon as he could. About 3 days later I was placed in the home I'm in now. I remember that moment when I walked into that house. Ive never been so scared. A lot of memories of the terrible homes came into my mind. I was introduced to my new brothers and sisters and my mom said hi. I recognized my brother. He went to school with me. He sat on the other side of my math class. His locker was right across the hall from mine. He showed me around the house and then showed me my room. Wait...I knew my sister too. She was in my biology class. The first thing i did was shut my door and I sat on my bed. I didn't leave that room for 3 days. Except to eat and pee and shower...and I had school...But other than that I didn't. I never talked...Never. I talked as little as possible. I didn't like these people at all. I just wanted to go home. Home home...not a foster home. I started to talk to my brother more. He was pretty cool. I still didn't talk to my mom. Or my sister. I sat in my room and went to school. And ate...I remember my 4th day there when I was eating dinner my mom said she had need ever seen a kid eat so much. The next few days my brother would see how much food i could shove in my mouth and hold down without getting sick. It made me laugh a few times and soon enough I opened up and started to talk a little more. I still didn't tell my mom anything. I would only talk to my brother because I trusted him. Then...I got sick again. And my little bio sister got really scared and wanted to be with me as much as possible because she realized i was gonna kick the bucket sometime soon. My foster mom asked my social worker if it was ok if she had placement over Ava too. Ava was the little messenger. My mom found out everything about me through my sister. She shares a room with me in my foster home. I don't mind it. I like my sister. I really have no idea why I'm writing this. Maybe because I just like typing it? I don't know. Maybe it's just to share my story with you guys. :) I really don't know. Alright my foster mom is making me get off my laptop.

Why is life so complicated

I thought I was over her...I really did...but I guess I'm not. Just because some other guy likes her. Why should I care. I don't like that kid though. He's a Junior. She's a Freshman. Why do I care. I really shouldn't. But I do. This guy though...I don't like him. There just...something that's not right. Blake says I'm jealous but idk. I shouldn't be jealous. I'm over her...right?

Birthday Interview

When I was little on my birthday my mom would "interview" me and write down what i would say. I decided to do the same for my sister because i was really bored.




So, Katlee, have you learned anything in the last year that you’d like to share with people?What kind of question is this?...Umm...I learned...I don't know. 
What will be the best thing about your birthday?Its not even my birthday yet...


Well pretend you are.
Alright...Um... I can drive in 2 years :D (cheesy smile)

What do you want to be when you grow up?
A princess. 


Really Kate?
Yes, really Nikky.
Who is your best friend?CONNOR GRADY :D :D :D...KIDDING...

What is your favorite toy?
I'm not 5


Neither am I.
What is your favorite thing to do?
Eat food

What is your favorite thing to eat?Food
What makes you happy?I don't know, I still have to think!

Okay, I'll come back to that question. What's your favorite show?JUSTIN BIEBER MOVIEEEEE

What is something that you're really good at?Eating food


You like food don't you?
Only when I'm hungry 
What do you think is the most important thing you’ve learned in life?
I have no idea, Nik, what kind of questions are these
What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
I don't know...
You want to say anything else? 
I don't think so.

Can you think of any questions I should have asked but didn’t?
Um, nope.

No because you can’t think of anything, or no because you don’t want to answer any more questions?
Both. Nik please can I just go eat. Im starving (she just had gotten home from dance) 
Oh yeah, the question we skipped... What makes you happy? 
I haven't thought yet! Ask me after I eat


I never did ask her...

Part III

Were going  with Aidan Kade. I like that name so much :p. So does Holley and Deysi choice the name Aiden but we modified it a little bit :p So for all of you that just wanted me to pick a gosh darn name already i did. Your welcome

~Kish

Finals

ew..e.w e.w .ew. .wew.e.r we..we.w.e.w.e.w..w..e.w.e.w. ew. thats how i feel about finals. 5 finals 400 multiple choice questions each. its not that hard i guess...the hardest part is studying. Everyday i spend 6 hours outside of class studying. If i dont do well on these i dont move back to Chicago. I havent paid attention in any of my classes this year so studying is a must :p. Thats why i'm studying so much. And If i don't do well my girlfriend will kill me...and so will my mom. I really don't want to be killed

AHOY

I am off on an a venture to the LIBRARY. I love the library. I sit there all day (no joke) studying or doing homework. Sometimes my little brother will tag along (like today) and he will look through book while i get my school work done. Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh if Mac is reading this you should tag along toooo. ok bye bye I'm leaving on my adventure

Part II

ok...so...i haVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION. wow random caps lock. I am now leaning towards the name Aiden Cade. or Aidan Kade... I know your thinking just pick a gosh darn name. But its hard. You don't want to name your kid Alex and in 3 years find he looks more like a Ryan. You know what i mean? That's why I'm putting so much thought into it. My brother literally just came up with the name Derrick Mitchell...eh I guess its ok. Derrick Mitchell is a god name itself but Derrick Mitchell Fisher isn't. Aiden Cade Fisher sounds good (as does Aidan Kade mind you)

Reconsidering Names...(Part I)

Well we went from Parker to Payton to Aaron back to Parker than back to Aaron and than back to Payton and now...hes nameless. We have just started over. Holley keeps texting me every time she thinks of a new name. most of them are really funny. Here are just some of them:

• Aiden Ross
• Gavin Ross
• Payton Anthony
• Keenan Declan
• Caleb Aaron
• Andrew Tristan
• Kyson Nicholas
• Keaton Tyler
• Brayden Christopher
• Kadyn Chance
• Seth Gabriel

We have a long list and names get added and deleted about every 5 minutes. 34 days left to pick a name. Holley and I (and i guess most of my friends) have been name hunting since September. Its a lot harder than you think. I need to get some sleep. I will continue this post tomorrow